It Was the Best of Sentences, It Was the Worst of Sentences
A Writer's Guide to Crafting Killer Sentences
June Casagrande
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21 quotes
Chapter 1
- Impacts, all by itself, is a problem. It couldn’t be vaguer. Here it’s used to mean that something improves or reduces or ameliorates crowding. But impacts contains less information than any of these alternatives. Also, why use a word that could mean something negative or positive when you’re clearly talking about something positive?Sep 29 2023 6:29PM
Chapter 2
- A lot of experts say that the best way to remember all the coordinating conjunctions is with the acronym FANBOYS, which represents for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so.Nov 3 2023 3:27PM
- Subordinating conjunctions are a much larger set. They include after, although, as, because, before, if, since, than, though, unless, until, when, and while.Nov 3 2023 3:27PM
- A lot of common phrases serve as subordinating conjunctions as well. They include as long as, as though, even if, even though, in order that, and whether or not.Nov 3 2023 4:01PM
- These subordinators all have one thing in common: They subordinate. They relegate information to less critical status. They tell the Reader, “This is just minor info we have to get out of the way before we get to the really big news” or “We’re tacking this on as an afterthought to really big news.” Consider this sentence: Before robbing a bank, Mike was an accountant.Nov 3 2023 4:02PM
- In Before robbing a bank, Mike was an accountant, we are snuffing the action out of our sentence. We’ve made the main point Mike was an accountant.Nov 3 2023 5:08PM
- But in After working for twenty-five years as an accountant, Mike robbed a bank, the main action is robbing. Chances are that’s a better choice.Nov 3 2023 5:09PM
- Subordinating conjunctions relegate clauses to lower grammatical status. Which brings us to my favorite grammar magic trick. Look at this sentence: Bob likes mustard. It’s a complete sentence—subject, verb, and all. So can you render this complete sentence an incomplete sentence not by taking any words away but by adding a word? Yep. If that word is a subordinating conjunction: Because Bob likes mustard … If Bob likes mustard … Although Bob likes mustard … As Bob likes mustard … When Bob likes mustard … Unless Bob likes mustard …Nov 3 2023 5:10PM
- As you can see, upside-down subordination is not the only danger presented by subordinating conjunctions. Some carry added danger in their definitions. The quintessential example is while: While walking through the park is good exercise, jogging is better. Some people will tell you this is an out-and-out misuse of while. They say that while can refer only to a time span and can never be used to mean although.Nov 3 2023 5:11PM
- While can indeed be a synonym for although. But it’s often a very, very bad one. If the spirit strikes you, vow to use while only by its main definition: “during or throughout the time that.”Nov 3 2023 5:12PM
- Another subordinator that poses its own unique dangers is if: If you enjoy seafood, the restaurant offers many fresh fish selections.Nov 3 2023 5:13PM
- Our sentence says the menu offerings are contingent on your preferences. The writer meant For those who enjoy seafood, the restaurant offers many fresh fish selections. or If you enjoy seafood, note that the restaurant offers many fresh fish selections. or If you enjoy seafood, you’ll be happy that the restaurant offers many fresh fish selections.Nov 3 2023 5:13PM
- In some cases, illogical uses of if are so common that they’re pretty much acceptable: If you want me, I’ll be in my room. Everyone knows what this speaker means. Yes, it’s true that she’ll be in her room regardless of whether the listener wants her. But I have no problem with that. It’s a common expression that’s clearly understood. Use your own judgment in such cases. Just be aware that more complex and less familiar if constructions can create big problems.Nov 3 2023 5:14PM
- Since is a controversial subordinating conjunction. Some people say it can’t be used as a synonym for because. They say that since refers to a time span and because refers to cause-and-effect relationships.Nov 3 2023 5:15PM
- Do you like Coldplay more than Madonna? leaves implied a second occurrence of the verb like, but we don’t know who’s doing the liking. You could mean Do you like Coldplay more than you like Madonna? or Do you like Coldplay more than Madonna likes Coldplay?Nov 3 2023 5:16PM
Chapter 3
- As Stephen King wrote, “Grammar is not just a pain in the ass; it’s the pole you grab to get your thoughts up on their feet and walking.Nov 3 2023 5:17PM
Chapter 4
- Here’s a great opening sentence for a magazine article: Alec Baldwin has the unbending, straight-armed gait of someone trying to prevent clothes from rubbing against sunburned skin.Nov 3 2023 5:18PM
Chapter 11
- Ned made the coffee. The coffee was made by Ned. In the first example, we have someone performing an action, followed by the action itself, followed by the thing being acted upon: subject + verb + object. In the second example, the thing being acted upon, the object, is made the subject of our sentence. That’s passive structure.Feb 8 2024 3:05AM
- Let’s look at some more examples: Active: Becky threw the ball. Passive: The ball was thrown by Becky. Active: Manny gave Ralph the gun. Passive: The gun was given to Ralph by Manny. Active: Everybody loves pasta. Passive: Pasta is loved by everybody. Active: The monster ate Victoria. Passive: Victoria was eaten by the monster.Feb 8 2024 3:05AM
- Kevin was being watched. Kevin was being coy.Feb 8 2024 3:08AM
- The first sentence is passive. The second one is not. Remember our simple definition of passive voice: when the object of an action is made the grammatical subject of the sentence. We can easily see that an action is taking place in our first sentence and Kevin is on the receiving end of it. He’s the doee, not the doer.Feb 8 2024 3:08AM