Ladies and gentlemen, the history of music and television on the Internet in three minutes. A TED medley — a TEDley.♫ It’s nine o’ clock on a Saturday ♫♫ The record store’s closed for the night ♫♫ So I fire up the old iTunes music store ♫♫ And soon I am feelin’ all right ♫♫ I know Steve Jobs can find me a melody ♫♫ With one dollar pricing that rocks ♫♫ I can type in the track and get album names back ♫♫ While still in my PJs and socks ♫♫ Sell us a song, you’re the music man ♫♫ My iPod’s still got 10 gigs to go ♫♫ Yes, we might prefer more compatibility ♫♫ But Steve likes to run the whole show ♫♫ I heard “Desperate Housewives” was great last night ♫♫ But I had a bad piece of cod ♫♫ As I threw up my meal, I thought, “It’s no big deal” ♫♫ I’ll watch it tonight on my ‘Pod ♫♫ And now all of the networks are joining in ♫♫ Two bucks a show without ads ♫♫ It’s a business those guys always wanted to try ♫♫ But only Steve Jobs had the ‘nads ♫♫ They say we’re young, don’t watch TV ♫♫ They say the Internet is all we see ♫♫ But that’s not true; they’ve got it wrong ♫♫ See, all our shows are just two minutes long ♫♫ Hey ♫♫ I got YouTube ♫♫ I got YouTube ♫And now, ladies and gentlemen, a tribute to the Recording Industry Association of America — the RIAA!♫ Young man, you were surfin’ along ♫♫ And then, young man, you downloaded a song ♫♫ And then, dumb man, copied it to your ‘Pod ♫♫ Then a phone call came to tell you …
♫♫ You’ve just been sued by the R-I-A-A ♫♫ You’ve just been screwed by the R-I-A-A ♫♫ Their attorneys say you committed a crime ♫♫ And there’d better not be a next time ♫♫ They’ve lost their minds at the R-I-A-A ♫♫ Justice is blind at the R-I-A-A ♫♫ You’re depriving the bands ♫♫ You are learning to steal ♫♫ You can’t do whatever you feel ♫♫ CD sales have dropped every year ♫♫ They’re not greedy, they’re just quaking with fear ♫♫ Yes indeedy, what if their end is near ♫♫ And we download all our music ♫♫ Yeah, that would piss off the R-I-A-A ♫♫ No plastic discs from the R-I-A-A ♫♫ What a way to make friends ♫♫ It’s a plan that can’t fail ♫♫ All your customers off to jail ♫♫ Who’ll be next for the R-I-A-A? ♫♫ What else is vexing the R-I-A-A? ♫♫ Maybe whistling a tune ♫♫ Maybe humming along ♫♫ Maybe mocking ‘em in a song ♫