Midnight Sun

Stephenie Meyer

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First annotation on Apr 15th, 2024. Last on Jun 21st, 2026.

Chapter 1

In the classroom, I settled into my chair and let my books—props, again; they held nothing I didn't already know—spill across the table. I was the only student who had a table to himself. The humans weren't smart enough to know that they feared me, but their innate survival instincts were enough to keep them away.
What if it all went away? What if this was just the first symptom of some kind of mental decline? I'd often wished that I could escape the cacophony. That I could be normal—as far as that was possible for me. But now I felt panicked at the thought. Who would I be without what I could do? I'd never heard of such a thing. I would see if Carlisle had.

Chapter 2

Just then, Alice tossed a smaller handful of ice that she'd been hiding into Emmett's unsuspecting face. He blinked, surprised, and then grinned in anticipation. "You asked for it," he said as he leaned across the table and shook his ice-encrusted hair in her direction. The snow, melting in the warm room, flew out from his hair in a thick shower of half liquid, half ice. "Ew!" Rose complained as she and Alice recoiled from the deluge. Alice laughed, and we all joined in. I could see in Alice's head how she'd orchestrated this perfect moment, and I knew that the girl—I should stop thinking of her that way, as if she were the only girl in the world—that Bella would be watching us laugh and play, looking as happy and human and unrealistically ideal as a Norman Rockwell painting.
As a family, we'd already discussed this moment from every possible angle. Carlisle disapproved of the risk, but he wouldn't impose his will on mine. Jasper disapproved nearly as much, but from fear of exposure rather than any concern for humankind. Rosalie only worried about how it would affect her life. Alice saw so many obscure, conflicting futures that her visions were atypically unhelpful. Esme thought I could do no wrong. And Emmett just wanted to compare stories about his own experiences with particularly appealing scents. He pulled Jasper into his reminiscing, though Jasper's history with self-control was so short and so uneven that he was unable to be sure he'd ever had an analogous struggle. Emmett, on the other hand, remembered two such incidents. His memories of them were not encouraging. But he'd been younger then, not as adept at self-control.

Chapter 3

"I didn't catch much of that," I told her when the vision went dark. Me either. Your future is shifting around so much I can't keep up with any of it. I think, though… She stopped, and she flipped through a vast collection of other recent visions for me. They were all the same—blurry and vague. "I think something is changing," she said out loud. "Your life seems to be at a crossroads." I laughed grimly. "You do realize that you sound like a carnival fortune-teller, right?" She stuck out her tiny tongue at me. "Today is all right, though, isn't it?" I asked, my voice abruptly apprehensive. "I don't see you killing anyone today," she assured me.
Look at all the healed contusions! How many times did her mother drop her? Carlisle laughed to himself at his joke.
"I'm beginning to think the girl just has really bad luck. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time." Forks is certainly the wrong place for her, with you here. I flinched. Go ahead. Smooth things over. I'll join you momentarily.

Chapter 4

Emmett didn't hold grudges, and I probably ought to have been more grateful for his easygoing acceptance. But I could see that Jasper's intentions made sense to him, that he was considering how it might be the best course of action.
Emmett and I walked silently to the car when the bell rang. He was worrying about me and worrying about Rosalie. He knew he would have no choice when it came time to pick sides, and it bothered him. The others were waiting for us in the car, also silent. We were a very quiet group. Only I could hear the shouting. Idiot! Lunatic! Moron! Jackass! Selfish, irresponsible fool! Rosalie kept up a constant stream of insults at the top of her mental lungs. It made it hard to hear the others, but I ignored her as best I could.
Alice was troubled, worrying about Jasper, flipping through images of the future. No matter which direction Jasper came at the girl, Alice always saw me there, blocking him. Interesting… neither Rosalie nor Emmett was with him in these visions. So Jasper planned to work alone. That would even things up. Jasper was the best, certainly the most experienced fighter among us. My one advantage lay in that I could hear his moves before he made them. I had never fought more than playfully with my brothers—just horsing around. I felt sick at the thought of really trying to hurt Jasper.
No, not that. Just to block him. That was all. I concentrated on Alice, memorizing Jasper's different avenues of attack. As I did that, her visions shifted, moving farther and farther away from the Swans' house. I was cutting him off earlier. Stop that, Edward! she snapped. It can't happen this way. I won't let it. I didn't answer her, I just kept watching. She began searching further ahead, into the misty, unsure realm of distant possibilities. Everything was shadowy and vague.
"I'm sorry," I said, looking first at Rose, then Jasper, and then Emmett. "I didn't mean to put any of you at risk. It was thoughtless, and I take full responsibility for my hasty action." Rosalie glared at me balefully. "What do you mean, 'take full responsibility'? Are you going to fix it?" "Not the way you mean," I said, working to keep my voice even and quiet. "I was already planning to leave before this happened. I'll go now…" If I believe that the girl will be safe, I amended in my head. If I believe that none of you will touch her. "The situation will resolve itself." "No," Esme murmured. "No, Edward." I patted her hand. "It's just a few years." "Esme's right, though," Emmett said. "You can't go anywhere. That would be the opposite of helpful. We have to know what people are thinking, now more than ever."
"Alice will catch anything major," I disagreed. Carlisle shook his head. "I think Emmett is right, Edward. The girl will be more likely to talk if you disappear. It's all of us leave, or none of us." "She won't say anything," I insisted quickly. Rose was building up to the explosion, and I wanted this fact out there first. "You don't know her mind," Carlisle reminded me. "I know this much. Alice, back me up." Alice stared up at me wearily. "I can't see what will happen if we just ignore this." She glanced at Rose and Jasper. No, she couldn't see that future—not when Rosalie and Jasper were so decided against ignoring the incident.
Rosalie's palm smacked down on the table with a loud bang. "We can't allow the human a chance to say anything. Carlisle, you must see that. Even if we decided to all disappear, it's not safe to leave stories behind us. We live so differently from the rest of our kind—you know there are those who would love an excuse to point fingers. We have to be more careful than anyone else!"
"Rose—" Carlisle began. "Let me finish, Carlisle. It doesn't have to be any big production. The girl hit her head today. So maybe that injury turns out to be more serious than it looked." Rosalie shrugged. "Every mortal goes to sleep with the chance of never waking up. The others would expect us to clean up after ourselves. Technically, that would make it Edward's job, but this is obviously beyond him. You know I'm capable of control. I would leave no evidence behind me." "Yes, Rosalie, we all know how proficient an assassin you are," I snarled. She hissed at me, momentarily beyond words. If only that could last. "Edward, please," Carlisle said. Then he turned to Rosalie. "Rosalie, I looked the other way in Rochester because I felt that you were owed your justice. The men you killed had wronged you monstrously. This is not the same situation. The Swan girl is entirely innocent." "It's not personal, Carlisle," Rosalie said through her teeth. "It's to protect us all."
"I know you mean well, Rosalie, but… I'd like very much for our family to be worth protecting. The occasional… accident or lapse in control is a regrettable part of what we are." It was very like him to include himself in the plural, though he had never had such a lapse himself. "To murder a blameless child in cold blood is another thing entirely. I believe the risk she presents, whether she speaks her suspicions or not, is nothing to the greater risk. If we make exceptions to protect ourselves, we risk something much more important. We risk losing the essence of who we are."
But I was no longer worried about Rose. I could see that she would go along with Carlisle's decision, no matter how infuriated she was with me. Their conversation had moved on to unimportant details. Jasper remained unmoved. I understood why. Before he and Alice had met, he'd lived in a combat zone, a relentless theater of war. He knew the consequences of flouting the rules—he'd seen the grisly aftermath with his own eyes. It said much that he had not tried to calm Rosalie down with his extra faculties, nor did he now try to rile her up. He was holding himself aloof from this discussion—above it.
"Jasper," I said. He met my gaze, his face expressionless. "She won't pay for my mistake. I won't allow that." "She benefits from it, then? She should have died today, Edward. I would only set that right." I repeated myself, emphasizing each word. "I will not allow it." His eyebrows shot up. He wasn't expecting this—he hadn't imagined that I would act to stop him. He shook his head once. "And I will not let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger. You don't feel about anyone the way I feel about her, Edward, and you haven't lived through what I've lived through, whether you've seen my memories or not. You don't understand."
"Jazz," Alice said, interrupting us. He held my gaze for a moment more, and then looked at her. "Don't bother telling me you can protect yourself, Alice. I already know that. It doesn't change—" "That's not what I'm going to say," Alice interrupted. "I was going to ask you for a favor." I saw what was on her mind, and my mouth fell open with an audible gasp. I stared at her, shocked, only vaguely aware that everyone besides Alice and Jasper was now eyeing me warily. "I know you love me. Thanks. But I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill Bella. First of all, Edward's quite serious and I don't want you two fighting. Secondly, she's my friend. At least, she's going to be."
"Alice," I choked. "What… does this…?" "I told you there was a change coming. I don't know, Edward." But she locked her jaw, and I could see that there was more. She was trying not to think about it. She was focusing very hard on Jasper suddenly, though he was too stunned to have progressed much in his decision-making. She did this sometimes when she was trying to keep something from me. "What, Alice? What are you hiding?"
She had her teeth gritted in concentration, but when I spoke Bella's name, she slipped. Her slip only lasted the tiniest portion of a second, but that was long enough. "NO!" I shouted. I heard my chair hit the floor, and only then realized I was on my feet. "Edward!" Carlisle was on his feet, too, gripping my shoulder. I was barely aware of him. "It's solidifying," Alice whispered. "Every minute you're more decided. There are really only two ways left for her. It's one or the other, Edward." I could see what she saw… but I could not accept it. "No," I said again. There was no volume to my denial. My legs felt hollow, and I had to brace myself against the table. Carlisle's hand fell away. "That is so annoying," Emmett complained. "I have to leave," I whispered to Alice, ignoring him. "Edward, we've already been over that," Emmett said loudly. "That's the best way to start the girl talking. Besides, if you take off, we won't know for sure if she's talking or not. You have to stay and deal with this." "I don't see you going anywhere, Edward," Alice told me. "I don't know if you can leave anymore." Think about it, she added silently. Think about leaving.
I love her, too. Or I will. It's not the same, but I want her around for that. "Love her, too?" I whispered, incredulous. She sighed. You are so blind, Edward. Can't you see where you're headed? Can't you see where you already are? It's more inevitable than the sun rising tomorrow morning. See what I see.… I shook my head, horrified. "No." I tried to shut out the visions she revealed to me. "I don't have to follow that course. I'll leave. I will change the future." "You can try," she said, her voice skeptical. "Oh, come on!" Emmett bellowed. "Pay attention," Rose hissed at him. "Alice sees him falling for a human! How classically Edward!" She made a gagging sound.
"Fall for a human?" Esme repeated in a stunned voice. "For the girl he saved today? Fall in love with her?" "What do you see, Alice? Exactly," Jasper demanded. She turned toward him. I continued to stare numbly at the side of her face. "It all depends on whether he is strong enough. Either he'll kill her himself"—she turned to meet my gaze again, glaring—"which would really irritate me, Edward, not to mention what it would do to you—" She faced Jasper again. "Or she'll be one of us someday."
Alice spoke as if she hadn't heard me. "It all depends," she repeated. "He may be just strong enough not to kill her—but it will be close. It will take an amazing amount of control," she mused. "More, even, than Carlisle has. The only thing he's not strong enough to do is stay away from her. That's a lost cause."
I had to leave, to be away from the noise of their thoughts—Rosalie's self-righteous disgust, Emmett's humor, Carlisle's never-ending patience.… Worse: Alice's confidence. Jasper's confidence in that confidence.

Chapter 5

It helped that he never noticed her small revelations, her little slips. He knew nothing about her. He'd created a Bella in his head who didn't exist—a girl just as generic as he was. He hadn't observed the unselfishness and bravery that set her apart from other humans, didn't hear the abnormal maturity of her spoken thoughts. He didn't perceive that when she spoke of her mother, she sounded like a parent speaking of a child rather than the other way around—loving, indulgent, slightly amused, and fiercely protective. He didn't hear the patience in her voice when she feigned interest in his rambling stories, and didn't guess at the compassion behind that patience.
The Krebs Cycle
A small brown spider crawled out from the edge of the closet door. My arrival must have disturbed it. Eratigena agrestis—a hobo spider, from its size a juvenile male. Once considered dangerous, more recent scientific study had proven its venom inconsequential to humans. However, its bite was still painful.… I reached out with one finger and crushed it silently.
My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight?
When change came for one of us, it was a rare and permanent thing. I had seen it happen with Carlisle, and then a decade later with Rosalie. Love had changed them in an eternal way, a way that would never fade. More than eighty years had passed since Carlisle found Esme, and yet he still looked at her with the incredulous eyes of first love. It would always be so for them.
I loved her, and so I would try to be strong enough to leave her. I knew I wasn't that strong now. I would work on that one. But perhaps I was strong enough to circumvent the future in another way.
Well, it was so much the better for her if she didn't care for me. That wouldn't stop me from pursuing her, from trying. But I would listen for her no. I owed her that. I owed her more. I owed her the truth I was not allowed to give her. So I would give her as much truth as I could. I would try to warn her. And when she confirmed that I would never be the one she would say yes to, I would leave.

Chapter 6

Rosalie and I had never had an easy relationship—I'd offended her the very first time she'd heard me speak, and it was downhill from that point on—but it seemed as though she was even more ill-tempered than usual the last few days. I sighed. Rosalie made everything about herself.
"No, I can't imagine why that would be frustrating at all—just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean… now, why would that be frustrating?"
She went on. "Or better, say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things—from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that, either, even after he promised. That, also, would be very non-frustrating."
He shuffled off to his class, his thoughts full of ire. What does she see in that freak? Sure, he's rich, I guess. Girls think he's hot, but I don't see that. Too… too perfect. I bet his dad experiments with plastic surgery on all of them. That's why they're all so white and pretty. It's not natural. And he's sort of… scary-looking. Sometimes, when he stares at me, I'd swear he's thinking about killing me. Freak. Mike wasn't entirely unperceptive.
Rosalie and Emmett had been the cliché, the classic love-at-first-sight story. There had never been a moment when either one had questioned what they were to each other. In the first second Rosalie saw Emmett, she'd been drawn to the innocence and honesty that had evaded her in life, and she wanted him. In the first second that Emmett saw Rosalie, he saw a goddess whom he had worshiped without cease ever since. There had never been an awkward first conversation full of doubt, never a fingernail-biting moment of waiting for a yes or no.
Alice and Jasper's union had been even less normal. For all the twenty-eight years up to their first meeting, Alice had known she would love Jasper. She'd seen years, decades, centuries, of their future lives together. And Jasper, feeling all her emotions in that long-awaited moment, the purity and certainty and depth of her love, couldn't help but be overwhelmed. It must have felt like a tsunami to him.
Carlisle and Esme had been slightly more typical than the others, I supposed. Esme had already been in love with Carlisle—much to his shock—but not through any mystical, magical means. She'd met Carlisle as a girl and, drawn to his gentleness, wit, and otherworldly beauty, formed an attachment that had haunted her for the rest of her human years. Life had not been kind to Esme, and so it was not surprising that this golden memory of a good man had never been supplanted in her heart. After the burning torment of transformation, when she'd awakened to the face of her long-cherished dream, her affections were entirely his.
"My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year." She laughed again, and then sighed. "Well, someone has to be the adult."
"So why did your mother marry Phil?" She hesitated a minute before answering. "My mother… she's very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. At any rate, she's crazy about him." She shook her head indulgently.

Chapter 7

Emmett and Jasper were in the middle of an elaborate game of chess, utilizing eight joined boards spread out along the glass back wall, and their own complicated set of rules.
Alice went to her computer just around the corner from them and I could hear her monitors sing to life. She was working on a fashion design project for Rosalie's wardrobe, but Rosalie did not join her today, to stand behind her and direct cut and color as Alice's hand traced over the touch-sensitive screens. Instead, today Rosalie sprawled sullenly on the sofa and started flipping through twenty channels a second on the flat screen, never pausing. I could hear her trying to decide whether or not to go out to the garage and tune her BMW again.
Alice leaned her head around the wall after a moment and started mouthing Emmett's next moves—Emmett sat on the floor with his back to her—to Jasper, who kept his expression very smooth as he cut off Emmett's favorite knight.
Esme stroked my hair. It's going to be fine, Edward. This is going to work out for the best. You deserve happiness, my son. Fate owes you that. "Thank you," I whispered, wishing I could believe it. And that my happiness was the one that mattered. Love doesn't always come in convenient packages. I laughed once without humor. You, out of everyone on this planet, are perhaps best equipped to deal with such a difficult quandary. You are the best and the brightest of us all. I sighed. Every mother thought the same of her son. Esme was still full of joy that my heart had finally been touched after all this time, no matter the potential for tragedy. She'd thought I would always be alone. She'll have to love you back, she thought suddenly, catching me by surprise with the direction of her thoughts. If she's a bright girl. She smiled. But I can't imagine anyone being so slow they wouldn't see the catch you are.
Rosalie had relied on the belief that if I did not find her beauty worth worshiping, then certainly there was no beauty on earth that would reach me. She'd been furious since the moment I'd saved Bella's life, guessing, with her shrewd, competitive intuition, the interest that I was all but unconscious of myself. Rosalie was mortally offended that I found some insignificant human girl more appealing than her. I suppressed the urge to laugh again. It bothered me some, though, the way she saw Bella. Rosalie actually thought the girl plain. How could she believe that? It seemed incomprehensible to me. A product of the jealousy, no doubt.
"Peter and Charlotte are coming to visit next week! They're going to be in the neighborhood. Isn't that nice?" "What's wrong, Edward?" Esme asked, feeling the tension in my shoulders. "Peter and Charlotte are coming to Forks?" I hissed at Alice. She rolled her eyes at me. "Calm down, Edward. It's not their first visit." My teeth clenched. It was their first visit since Bella had arrived, and her sweet blood didn't appeal just to me. Alice frowned at my expression. "They never hunt here. You know that." But Jasper's brother of sorts and the little vampire he loved were not like us; they hunted the usual way. They could not be trusted around Bella. "When?" I demanded. She pursed her lips unhappily but told me what I needed to know. Monday morning. No one is going to hurt Bella.
"Of course I was. I just don't eat like a savage." Emmett laughed his booming laugh. "I wish they were stronger. It would be more fun." "No one said you had to fight your food." "Yeah, but who else am I going to fight with? You and Alice cheat, Rose never wants to mess up her hair, and Esme gets mad if Jasper and I really go at it." "Life is hard all around, isn't it?" Emmett grinned at me, shifting his weight a bit so that he was suddenly poised to take a charge. "C'mon Edward. Just turn it off for one minute and fight fair."
"Thinking about her. Well, worrying, really." "What's there to worry about? You are here." He laughed loudly. I ignored his joke again, but answered his question. "Have you ever thought about how fragile they all are? How many bad things can happen to a mortal?" "Not really. I guess I see what you mean, though. I wasn't much match for a bear that first time around, was I?" "Bears," I muttered, adding a new fear to the already large pile. "That would be just her luck, wouldn't it? Stray bear in town. Of course it would head straight for Bella." Emmett chuckled. "You sound like a crazy person. You can hear that, right?" "Just imagine for one minute that Rosalie was human, Emmett. And she could run into a bear… or get hit by a car… or lightning… or fall down stairs… or get sick—get a disease!" The words burst from me stormily. It was a relief to let them out—they'd been festering inside me all weekend. "Fires and earthquakes and tornadoes! Ugh! When's the last time you watched the news? Have you seen the kinds of things that happen to them? Burglaries and homicides…" My teeth clenched together, and I was abruptly so infuriated by the idea of another human hurting her that I couldn't breathe.
Emmett considered that quietly for a moment. He pictured the girl in his head, and found the image uninteresting. Honestly, I can't really see the draw. "Well, I can't really see Rosalie's allure, either," I said rudely. "Honestly, she seems like more work than any pretty face is worth."
Emmett was not a tactful person, and delicate discussions were not his forte. He struggled now, wanting very much not to be offensive.
Emmett noticed the change in my expression. What are you thinking about? "Right now," I admitted a bit sheepishly, "I'm dying to run back to Forks and check on her. I don't know if I'll make it to Sunday night." "Uh-uh! You are not going home early. Let Rosalie cool down a little bit. Please! For my sake." "I'll try to stay," I said doubtfully. Emmett tapped the phone in my pocket. "Alice would call if there were any basis for your panic attack. She's as weird about this girl as you are."
"Peter and Charlotte know how to behave themselves." "I really don't care, Emmett. With Bella's luck, she'll go wandering off into the woods at exactly the wrong moment and—" I flinched. "I'm going back Sunday." Emmett sighed. Exactly like a crazy person.

Chapter 8

Mike became an unreliable viewpoint from then on. He found, as he turned the idea of Jessica around in his head, that he rather liked the thought of her finding him attractive. It was second place, not as good as if Bella had felt that way.
Why even bother coming home? Rosalie sneered. Ah, Edward. I hate to see him suffering so. Esme's joy was becoming corrupted by her concern. She should be concerned. This love story she envisioned for me was careening toward tragedy more perceptibly every moment. Have fun in Port Angeles tonight, Alice thought cheerfully. Let me know when I'm allowed to talk to Bella. You're pathetic. I can't believe you missed the game last night just to watch somebody sleep, Emmett grumbled.
"If you see Maria again," Jasper was saying, a little warily, "tell her I wish her well." Maria was the vampire who had created both Jasper and Peter—Jasper in the latter half of the nineteenth century, Peter more recently, in the nineteen forties. She'd looked Jasper up once when we were in Calgary. It had been an eventful visit—we'd had to move immediately. Jasper had politely asked her to keep her distance in the future.
Once in my car, I felt more relaxed. The robust purr of the engine Rosalie had boosted for me—last year, when she was in a better mood—was soothing. It was a relief to be in motion, to know that I was getting closer to Bella with every mile that flew away under my tires.

Chapter 9

How condescendingly I'd once judged Emmett for his thoughtless ways and Jasper for his lack of discipline—and now I was consciously flouting all the rules with a wild abandon that made their lapses look like nothing at all. I used to be the responsible one.
"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella." I stared out into the black night, wishing both that she would hear the horror inherent in my words and that she would not. Mostly that she would not. Run, Bella, run. Stay, Bella, stay. "But it wouldn't be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those…" Just thinking about it almost pulled me from the car. I took a deep breath, letting her scent scorch down my throat. "At least, that's what I'm trying to convince myself."
For just a second, I saw Persephone, pomegranate in hand. Dooming herself to the underworld. Is that who I was? Hades himself, coveting springtime, stealing it, condemning it to endless night.
"I was wrong about you on one other thing as well," I went on, setting the record straight on a second point. "You're not a magnet for accidents—that's not a broad enough classification. You are a magnet for trouble. If there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you."

Chapter 10

Jasper's thinking about our anniversary. She laughed. He's trying not to make a decision on my gift, but I think I have a pretty good idea.… "You're shameless." "Yep."

Chapter 12

"So?" I prompted. "Will you help me do it?" It took him a minute to respond. "But, why?" "C'mon, Emmett. Why not?" Who are you and what have you done with my brother? "Aren't you the one who complains that school is always the same? This is something a little different, isn't it? Consider it an experiment—an experiment in human nature." He stared at me for another moment before he caved. "Well, it is different, I'll give you that. Okay, fine." Emmett snorted and then shrugged. "I'll help you." I grinned at him, feeling more enthusiastic about my plan now that he was on board. Rosalie was a pain, but I would always owe her one for choosing Emmett; no one had a better brother than mine.
But I could see how much her judgment was clouded by her jealousy of the girl. It was more now than the fact that I found Bella so much more compelling than I had Rosalie. Her jealousy had twisted and shifted focus. Bella had everything Rosalie wanted. She was human. She had choices. Rose was outraged that Bella would put this in jeopardy, that she would flirt with the darkness when she had other options.
"We should have known, Carlisle. Of course the elders would warn the next generation when we came back. And of course the next generation wouldn't credit any of it. It's just a silly story to them. The boy who answered Bella's questions didn't believe anything he was telling her."
Please, Rosalie thought directly at me. Enough with the roll-over routine. Stop playing so penitent. "I'm not playing," I said to her. "I know I'm to blame for all of this. I've made an enormous mess of everything." "Alice told you I was thinking of burning your car, didn't she?" I smiled—sort of. "She did. But I deserve that. If it makes you feel better, have at it." She looked at me for a long moment, thinking about going ahead with the destruction. Testing me, to see if I was bluffing. I shrugged at her. "It's just a toy, Rose." "You've changed," she said from between her teeth again. I nodded. "I know." She whirled and stalked off toward the garage. But she was the one bluffing. If it wouldn't hurt me, there was no point to the exercise. Of all my family, she was the only one who loved cars the way I did. Mine was too beautiful to vandalize for no reason.

Chapter 13

I could see elements of the stories in her makeup—characters that had shaped the context of her world. There was a bit of Jane Eyre in her, a portion of Scout Finch and Jo March, a measure of Elinor Dashwood, and Lucy Pevensie. I was sure I would find more connections as I learned more about her.
Oops, Emmett thought. I curled my hands into fists and concentrated on staying in my seat. Sorry, I was trying not to think about that. I glanced at the clock. Fifteen minutes before I could punch him in the face. I didn't mean any harm. Hey, I took your side, right? Honestly, Jasper and Rose are just being silly, betting against Alice. It's the easiest wager I'll ever win. A wager about this weekend, whether Bella would live or die. Fourteen and a half minutes. Emmett squirmed in his seat, well aware what my total motionlessness indicated. C'mon, Ed. You know it wasn't serious. Anyway, it's not even about the girl. You know better than I do whatever's going on with Rose. Something between you two, I guess. She's still mad, and she wouldn't admit for all the world that she's actually rooting for you. He always gave Rosalie the benefit of the doubt, and though I knew that I was just the opposite—I never gave her the benefit of the doubt—I didn't think he was right this time. Rosalie would be pleased to see me fail in this. She would be happy to see Bella's poor choices receive what she considered their just reward. And then she'd still be jealous as Bella's soul escaped to whatever waited beyond. And Jazz—well, you know. He's tired of being the weakest link. You're kind of too perfect with the self-control, and it gets annoying. Carlisle's different. Admit it, you're a little… smug.
"So you've placed your money with Alice and Emmett, I see." She unlaced her fingers to smack me lightly on the shoulder. "This is not a joking matter." "No, it isn't." But when Jasper and Rosalie lose, I won't be angry if Emmett rubs it in a bit. "I doubt he'll disappoint you there." Nor will you disappoint me, Edward. Oh, my son, how I do love you. When the hard part is over… I'm going to be very happy, you know. I think I will love this girl. I looked at her with raised eyebrows. You wouldn't be so cruel as to keep her from me, would you? "Now you sound just like Alice." "I don't know why you fight her on anything. Easier to embrace the inevitable."

Chapter 14

"I'm sorry about that," I murmured quickly. "She's just worried." It irritated me to have to defend Rosalie's behavior, but I couldn't think of another way to explain. And at the heart of Rosalie's hostility, this was the true issue. "You see… it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…" I couldn't finish. Filled with horror and shame, I stared down at my hands—the hands of a monster. "If?" she prompted. How could I not answer her now? "If this ends… badly."

Chapter 15

Any of my family would be capable of doing it for me, but I knew that none of them would, no matter how I begged. Even Rosalie, who I'm sure would claim to be angry enough to do it, who might bluster and threaten the next time I saw her, would not. Because even though she sometimes hated me, she always loved me. And I knew if I could trade places with any of them, I would feel and act exactly the same way. I would not be able to harm any of my family, no matter how much pain they were in, no matter how much they wanted out.
It was too bad the Quileute treaty was toothless these days. Three generations ago, all I would have had to do was walk to La Push. A useless idea now
"I'm going out tomorrow with Jasper," she told me. "Didn't he just—" "I've recently decided that more preparations are necessary," she said, smiling. A new possibility. In her mind, I saw our home. Carlisle and Esme waiting expectantly in the front room. The door opening, myself walking through, and next to me, holding my hand…
I rarely gave what I wore a first thought, let alone a second. Alice stocked my closet with a wide variety of items that all seemed to go together. The main point of clothing was to help us blend in—to embrace the current time period's fashion, to downplay our pallor, and to cover as much of our skin as possible without looking shockingly out of season. Alice pushed the limits within those constraints, offended by the idea of trying to make us look unnoticeable. She chose her own clothing and dressed the rest of us as a form of artistic expression. Our skin was covered, its pallid hue was never put in contrast with deeper tones, and we certainly were up to the minute with current style. But blend we did not. It seemed a harmless indulgence, like the cars we drove. Alice's forward-thinking taste aside, all my clothes were, if nothing else, designed for maximum coverage. If I were going to fulfill the spirit of my promise to Bella, I would need more than my hands exposed. The smaller my exposure, the easier it would be for her to compartmentalize my disease. She needed to see me for what I was. At that moment I remembered a shirt, stuck in the back recesses of my closet, that I'd never worn. The shirt was an anomaly. Usually, Alice wouldn't get us anything that she couldn't see us wearing. Typically, she was quite strict in following the letter of the law. I recalled the afternoon, two years ago, when I'd first seen the shirt hanging with a new lot of Alice's acquisitions, tacked on at the very back, as if she knew it was all wrong. "What's this for?" I asked her. She'd shrugged. I don't know. It looked nice on the model. There hadn't been anything hidden in her thoughts. She seemed as confused as I was by the impulsive purchase. And yet, she hadn't let me throw the shirt away, either. You never know, she'd insisted. You might want it someday.
I pulled the shirt out now, and felt a strange wave of awe. A chill, almost, if I were capable of feeling such a thing. Her uncanny premonitions reached so far, stretched their tentacles so deep into the future, that even she didn't understand all the actions she took. Somehow she'd sensed, years before Bella had chosen to come to Forks, that at some point I would be facing this most bizarre trial.
I was surprised to hear the sound of a hair dryer from the shared bathroom. Bella didn't usually bother. Her hair was, as far as I had seen in my nights of protective—if inexcusable—surveillance, wet as she slept, drying over the course of the night. I wondered why the change. The only explanation I could think of was that she wanted her hair to look nice. And as the person she planned to see tomorrow was me, that meant she must have wanted it to look nice for me. Maybe I was wrong. But if I was right… how exasperating! How endearing! Her life had never been in deeper peril, but she still cared that I, the very menace threatening her life, liked her appearance.
What he says is true, Maggie thought simultaneously. But there's something missing. Something Carlisle isn't speaking. She nodded once, as if to herself, and then glanced at Siobhan, who was still examining me.
Of course she was right. I did have a gift. But… Carlisle had been honestly surprised when he'd understood what I could do. I knew, thanks to my gift, that he was not pretending. There was no lie, no evasion in his thoughts when he'd answered my own whys. He was very lonely. My mother had pleaded for my life. My face had unconsciously promised some virtue that I wasn't entirely sure I embodied.
It was a busy time, full of new knowledge and new friends, so it was several more years before Siobhan's pitying words began to trouble me. Poor boy.… How tragic—to be deprived of the greatest joy of this life. Unlike her other conjecture—so easy to disprove when I had the transparent honesty of Carlisle's thoughts to read—this idea began to fester. It was that phrase, the greatest joy of this life, that eventually led to my separation from Carlisle and Esme. In the pursuit of that promised joy, I took human life over and over again, thinking that, in the arrogant application of my gift, I could do more good than harm.
Of course I couldn't trust the confidence in her voice when I didn't have her thoughts to read, and she knew that. She could lie to me over the phone. But I still felt encouraged.

Chapter 17

I told her about my unsuccessful attempt to run away, and the arrogance that brought me back; how that arrogance had shaped our interactions, and how the frustration of her hidden thoughts had tormented me; how her scent had never stopped being both torture and temptation. My family wove in and out of the story and I wondered whether she could see how they influenced my actions at every turn. I told her how saving her from Tyler's van had changed my perspective, had forced me to see that she was more to me than just a risk and an irritant.

Chapter 18

"She doesn't mean for you to heal him," I translated quickly. "She means for you to save him." Rosalie's eyes flashed to me, a look of intense gratitude altering her features in a way I'd never seen before. For one instant, I remembered how very beautiful she was.
"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself." Their union had been a magical thing. Whenever Jasper thought of it, the entire household relaxed into dreamy contentment, so powerful were his communal emotions. "She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us."
I'd missed that first introduction, when Alice and Jasper had presented themselves to an extremely wary Carlisle, a frightened Esme, and a hostile Rosalie. It was Jasper's warlike appearance that had them all so apprehensive, but Alice knew exactly what to say to ease their anxiety. Of course she knew exactly what to say. She'd envisioned every possible version of that momentous meeting, and then chosen the best. It was no accident that Emmett and I had been away. She'd preferred the smoother scene without the family's primary defenders in residence.
It was hard to believe how firmly entrenched they were by the time Emmett and I arrived, just a few days later. We were both shocked, and Emmett was ready for battle the second he laid eyes on Jasper. But Alice ran forward to throw her arms around me before a word could be spoken. I wasn't frightened by what might have been construed as an attack. Her thoughts were so sure of me, so full of love for me, I thought I'd had the first memory loss of my second life. Because this tiny immortal knew me perfectly, better than anyone else in my current or former family. Who was she?
And then, with her arms tight around my waist—and my own arms hesitantly coming to rest around her shoulders—she thought swiftly through her life from her first memory to that very moment, and then forward in time through the highlights of our next few years together. It felt very strange to realize in that instant that now I knew her, too. "This is Alice, Emmett," I told him, still embracing my new sister. Emmett's aggressive pose changed to one of confusion. "She's part of our family. And that's Jasper. You're going to love him."

Chapter 22

In the second that Carlisle said Jasper's name, I realized what I'd been missing. Jasper—lacerated with scars on every visible portion of his skin, tall and lean and fierce as any stalking lion, eyes brutal with remembered kills—should have been at the forefront of their assessments. His warlike aspect should, even now, be coloring this negotiation. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, and found myself… so incredibly bored. It seemed as if there could be nothing less interesting in the world than this nondescript vampire standing docilely to one side of our grouping. Nondescript? Docile? Jasper? Jasper was concentrating so hard that, had he been human, his body would have been dripping with sweat. I'd never seen him do this before, or even guessed that it was possible. Was this something he'd developed during his years in the South? Camouflage? He was concurrently smoothing the tension surrounding the newcomers and making anyone looking in his direction feel singularly uninterested. Nothing could be duller than examining this nothing male at the back of the group, so unimportant.…
And not just him… He was covering Alice, Esme, and Bella in the same haze of tediousness. This was why none of them had realized yet. Not because of Bella's disheveled hair or my ridiculous tapping. They couldn't cut through the sense of overwhelming mundaneness to look at her closely. She was just one among many, not worth examining. Jasper was really extending himself to protect the vulnerable members of our family. I could hear his total concentration. He wouldn't be able to hold it if things got physical, but for now he had Bella encased in a more clever protection than I could have imagined.
Alice couldn't see clearly what James was doing. His path wasn't going to cross ours here, nor in the near future. She'd only seen the strangers in the clearing in the first place because they had decided to interact with us. It wasn't easy for her to see outsiders unless they were with a member of her family. James would be mostly invisible until he decided to accost one of us

Chapter 26

Emmett and Jasper, too, were struggling. They'd pulled the shattered pieces of the tracker—and I could only vehemently hope that those pieces were still somehow able to process pain—out of the room. Emmett was watching Jasper closely for a break. Emmett himself was in admirable control. His concern for Bella was deeper than his usual carefree frame of mind allowed for.

Chapter 27

Instead he mulled over his dissatisfaction with the fight. Because, honestly. He'd had the tracker. Totally contained, though the tracker fought and squirmed and thrashed to avoid Emmett's crushing arms. There was no chance any of this struggle could have helped him, and Emmett was already breaking him when Jasper lunged into the blood-drenched room. Jasper, mangled and ferocious, eyes sharp and empty at the same time, looking like some forgotten god or incarnation of war, projecting an aura of pure violence. And the tracker had stopped trying. In that fraction of a second when he saw Jasper (for the first time, but Emmett didn't know that), he'd surrendered to his fate. No matter that his fate was sealed once Emmett had gotten his hands on him, this was what demoralized him. It was driving Emmett crazy. Someday soon I would have to describe to Emmett what he'd looked like in the clearing and why. I doubted anything else would soothe the sting. Jasper was in the driver's seat, his window cracked to the hot, dry outside air, though like Emmett, he wasn't breathing. Alice sat beside him, directing everything—the turns, the lanes to travel in, the highest speed he could go without attracting unwanted attention. She had him at sixty-seven miles per hour now. I would have pushed that, but Alice was confident that she would get us to the hospital faster than I could. Dodging patrol cars would only slow us down and complicate everything.
Alice sees that the woman at the desk will not call the police. She will call management. They will direct the woman to get everything cleaned up before someone else is hurt. That will be the story when the legal papers are served: They cleaned up the evidence for safety's sake. They will wait in miserable suspense for the lawsuit that never comes. It will be more than a year before they start to believe their amazing luck.
The detailing done, Alice examines the backseat. There's no visible evidence. She tips the technician. Alice gets into the Cayenne and takes a deep breath in through her nose. Well, the car won't pass a luminol test, but she sees that it won't get one. Jasper and Emmett follow her to a mall in downtown Scottsdale. She parks the Cayenne on the third floor of a huge parking garage. It will be four days before the security guard reports the abandoned vehicle. Alice and Jasper go shopping while Emmett waits in the rental car. She buys a pair of tennis shoes in a busy Gap. No one looks down at her feet. She pays cash. She buys Emmett a t-shirt-thin hoodie that actually fits him. She buys six large bags of clothes in her size, Carlisle's size, Emmett's size, and my own. She uses a different ID and credit card than she used at the hotel. Jasper acts as a Sherpa for her. Finally, she buys four suitcases that don't match. She and Jasper wheel them to the rental car, where she pulls tags and fills them all with brand-new clothes. She throws her bloody shoes in a dumpster on their way out. There are no rewinds or replays. Everything goes perfectly smoothly.
Once the boys are gone, Alice empties the last unit of blood onto the backseat and floor of the rental car. She takes it to a do-it-yourself car wash outside a gas station. She doesn't do nearly as good a job cleaning up as the detailers. She'll get fined when she returns the car.
"I need you to rent a flatbed tow truck," Alice instructed. "Or buy one, whatever's faster—something with some kick. Load Bella's truck and meet Emmett in Seattle. His flight lands at five-thirty." "Emmett's coming home? What happened? Why am I towing that ridiculous truck?" For a brief moment, I wondered why Alice was sending Emmett home at all. Why not let Rosalie just bring the truck here? It was the obvious solution. And then I realized that Alice couldn't see Rosalie helping us in that way, and I felt an ice-cold wave of bitterness at the reminder. Rosalie had made her choice.
Alice's brow was furrowed. She thought through her chores and looked at the consequences of all the hundreds of choices she had made. She saw herself at the hospital, bringing us clothes from our suitcases so we could get out of our bloody things. Had she caught everything? Had any details slipped her mind? Everything was fine. Or it would be. "Well done, Alice," I whispered approvingly.

Chapter 28

It was obviously Bella's mother. I'd seen her in Charlie's mind, and she bore a striking resemblance to her daughter. I'd thought Charlie's memory was of Renée as a younger woman, but it could also have been more current. She hadn't aged much. I guessed that she and Bella would often be mistaken for sisters. "I'm looking for my daughter. She came in this afternoon. She was in an accident. She fell through a window.…" Renée's physical voice was perfectly normal, similar to but a little higher pitched than Bella's own. Her mental voice, however, was piercing. It was fascinating to watch how the other minds responded. No one seemed to notice the ringing mental broadcast, yet everyone was compelled to help her. Somehow, they were picking up on her need, and unable to ignore it. I listened, mesmerized by the interplay between her mind and theirs. An orderly and a nurse led her through the halls, towing her small bag for her, anxious to help.

Chapter 29

"I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships." Bella's words flowed quickly—worried about what she'd given away and trying to distract me. "But it just seems logical… a man and woman have to be somewhat equal… as in, one of them can't always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally."
"That's stupid," she said. "That's like going to someone who's just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, 'Look, let's just go back to how things should be. It's better that way.' And I'm not buying it." "I'm hardly a lottery prize," I growled. "That's right. You're much better."

Chapter 30

"It was crazy," she would say. "I didn't really want to go, you know I'm no dancer. But my lunatic best friend kidnapped me for a makeover and my boyfriend took me over my protests. It wasn't so bad in the end. I'm glad I went. At the very least to see the decorations—they were like a budget version of the movie Carrie. No, you can't watch Carrie. Not yet."